If the NFL had a birthday cake, this is how it would look.
Yay, they won! "Man, I miss last football season already."
When does the combine start? Who is going to be drafted number one overall? Who is going to shoot up the charts and be this year’s Chris Johnson? What about this year’s Matt Jones? This year’s Mike Mamula? (That award is going to be renamed the “Vernon Gholston Award” in 5 years.) Which failure of a football player will the Lions choose this year? Which failure of a human being will the Bengals choose? Will the Vikings remember to submit their pick on time? Will the absence of Vinny Ceratto mean that the Redskins complete a competent offseason? How will the CBA situation play out? Which household names will be on new teams—or no team—following this wild offseason?
Needless to say, a fan can become downright giddy with the possibilities. And then today, new life was breathed into America. On Thursday, February 25, 2010, in Indianapolis, Indiana, the 2010 NFL season was born. Football season begins again. I woke up this morning, and despite the frigid 31 degree Nashville temperature, I had warm sensations emanating from within. (No, not that “warm sensation from within”.)
Happy 45th Birthday, modern NFL! You look great for your age—and like a fine wine, you keep getting better with time. NFL, I assume that you are a chick, despite the fact that you consist of 106 men in tights crashing into each other over and over again. I know that you're a woman, because I could never love a man this passionately. And even tough you’re quite a bit older than me, I’m not afraid to say I love you. I need you. You complete me. You had me at hello.
This is how I feel about the NFL. Assuming it's a chick.
So where do we go from here? Feb. 24-Mar. 2 -- NFL Scouting Combine (Someone will run a 4.29 40-yard dash, someone else will bench press 225 lbs 35 times.)
Feb. 25 -- Deadline for designating franchise players. (Meaning someone is going to be pissed for making $9 million in one year.)
Mar. 4-Apr. 1 – Individual Pro Day Workouts and on-campus tryouts for athletes not invited to the NFL Combine. (QB’s who don’t want to get shredded at the Combine will take the easy way out and throw to their own receivers, on their own practice field.)
March 5 -- Free agency begins. If a new labor agreement is not in place by this date, there will be no cap on player salaries, but severe restrictions on free agent movement by players. Teams must tender a salary offer to Restricted Free Agents on their roster to preserve their right to match offers from other teams. (Expect more teams to accelerate towards the salary floor, rather than the nonexistent salary cap.)
Early April -- 2010 regular season schedule announced (250,000 people will incorrectly add three wins to their team’s estimated win total.)
April 22-24 -- 2010 NFL Draft (Jets fans will be pissed. Dolphins fans will be unimpressed. And the Lions fans who still find it in their souls to care will commit mass suicide. That’s the draft in a nutshell! Yet, I will be an immovable fixture in front of my television for all three days.
July 22 -- Deadline for franchise players to sign new contracts
Aug. 7 -- Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, Canton, Ohio. Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, Russ Grimm, Rickey Jackson, Dick LeBeau, John Randle and Floyd Little are this year’s enshrines.
Aug. 8 -- Hall of Fame Game. Cowboys vs. Bengals.
Aug. 31-- Roster cutdown to maximum of 75 players
Sept. 4-- Roster cutdown to maximum of 53 players
Sept. 9-13 -- 2010 Kickoff Weekend
So drink it up, NFL. I think we’re about to share a beautiful year together.
